Paul and Barnabas were close friends
Barnabas helped Paul start in the ministry
They served the Lord together on Paul’s first Mission trip Acts 13-14
At the start of Paul’s 2nd Mission trip they had a big fight! Acts 15: 36-41
Barnabas wanted to take John Mark with them
Paul did not, (because John Mark had deserted them on Paul’s first Mission trip Acts 13: 13)
Was Paul right in not wanting to take John Mark with them?
Was Barnabas right in wanting to take John Mark with them?
Can you imagine the argument? – “I’m right”! – “No, I’m right”
Why do we have conflict withclose friends?
Because we like to think we are right and the other person is wrong!
Here’s how to manage conflict
1/ Understand personality differences
Why did Paul think he was right – because he ‘saw’ John Mark as a failure
Why did Barnabas think he was right – because he ‘saw’ John Mark, not as a failure but as a ‘work in progress’
We all ‘see’ things – look at life, differently and are convinced that we are right
If the other person does not ‘see’ things the same as us, we think they are wrong = Conflict!!!
How we ‘see’ things – how we look at life, is determined by our personality
Here’s a simple personality test – fill in the gap in the sentence (without looking at the options following): “Let’s do this….way”
– “Let’s do this my way”
Strengths: Leadership, strong willed, outspoken
Weakness: stubborn & uncompromising
This is the Apostle Paul’s personality
– “Let’s do this the right way”
Strengths: Loyal, orderly, thorough
Weakness: critical & disapproving
This is Barnabas’s personality
Can you now see why Paul and Barnabas had a fight!
– “Let’s do this the fun way”
Strengths: Sociable, playful, optimistic
Weakness: disorderly &undisciplined
– “Let’s do this the easy way”
Strengths: Friendly, peaceful, compliant
Weakness: hesitant & indecisive
Here’s how you manage conflict:
Understand your own personality and the personality of your close friend
Don’t allow your differences to push you apart, allow you similarities to bring you closer to each other!
Do this and you will be a better friend
revdotdavid 